I phoned the Old Man at 07:42. When I first mentioned dispersible aspirin, he replied:
“I don’t understand, BLEKE.”
He twice offered amlodipine, because it was in a yellow box, which I had told him was the colour of the dispersible aspirin box.
“Dispersible aspirin — where from?”
He offered ferrous sulphate. I asked what box he was looking in.
“The big box I’ve got on my knee.” — i.e. the sandwich-box.
He couldn’t find the dispersible aspirin, but he found the lansoprazole and swallowed a capsule of it.
“I thought you’d be halfway here by now.” In response, I told him to concentrate on the matter in hand.
The Old Man found the gliclazide, and I told him to put the half-tablet onto the table.
“I’ve put it in my mouth, actually.”
“What day is it?” he asked.
He couldn’t find the bendroflumethiazide, having offered ferrous sulphate.
He found the amlodipine.
Again he mentioned my coming to Peakville this weekend.
“Is that it?” he asked, having searched for levothyroxine for a few minutes but not having found it.
He said he’d found the levothyroxine, in a tone of voice implying that obviously I must have known that.
He said he hadn’t realised that I wasn’t coming to Peakville.
The Old Man claimed that he’d swallowed his levothyroxine and amlodipine. I’m not convinced that he had.
While searching for co-codamol, he offered simvastatin, then found the co-codamol. I told him to take out two tablets, and he swallowed them.
I said that we’d look for the dispersible aspirin later.
Our phone-call ended at 08:21.
At 10:58 I phoned the Old Man to see what he was having for lunch. He seemed confused. His plan for lunch was to have bread and butter.
“I can’t cook anything.” — and he was unable to explain this remark.
“What are you playing, BLEKE?” he asked — N.B. “playing”, not “playing at”.
When I phoned at about 12:25 the Old Man had not had lunch. He again asked what I was playing at — including the “at” this time. I told him to get a banana.
At 15:22 there was no reply from the Old Man.
At 16:40 there was again no reply.
At 17:32 the phone rang for a while before he answered. I asked him where he had been, and he responded somewhat crossly:
“Where have you been?”
Then I asked him whether he had had his tea and he replied:
“I’ve had a tomato.” (Most unlikely, as he has always professed to dislike tomatoes. However, it is possible to get him to eat them if they are disguised.)
I queried what he had said, and he corrected himself. He had had a banana.
When I phoned at 19:46, the Old Man told me:
“I’ve just been up to the bathroom.”
I told him to find the blue-top and red-top bottles. He offered Normulen, and I redirected him to the blue-top and red-top bottles.
“Which one first?” he asked. I told him it didn’t matter. He swallowed a cod-liver-oil capsule and a multivitamin tablet.
After some confusion (I was directing him to the plastic storage-boxes; he wanted to reopen the blue-top and red-top bottles!) I told him to search for dispersible aspirin.
I said to him: “You’re looking for dispersible aspirin in there.” — i.e. in the sandwich-box.
“There’s no dispersible aspirin in there?” he enquired.
He offered Normulen. Then he said:
“The only thing I can see like that [sic] is dispersible aspirin.”
“Yes!” I shouted.
He dissolved a dispersible aspirin tablet in water, stirred, and drank. (At first, he thought we were preparing it for the next morning.)
I told the Old Man to put the package of dispersible aspirin back into the sandwich-box (i.e. the box in which he had found it.)
“With a doo-dah in?” [sic]
He seemed confused about putting the dispersible aspirin back into the sandwich-box.
Next, I told the Old Man to find the box with the blue dots.
The package of simvastatin was empty, the Old Man said.
The Old Man told me he had found the simvastatin — but the tablet was brown-and-white [lansoprazole], then it was white [co-codamol?], then:
“I haven’t found it yet.”
He found the empty box of simvastatin again — I told him to throw it away.
He found the simvastatin, and swallowed a tablet.
He found the ferrous sulphate very quickly, and swallowed a tablet. I’m satisfied that he genuinely did find it.
“It’s raining here,” the Old Man remarked.
He found the co-codamol, and swallowed two tablets. Again, I don’t doubt that he did find it.
Our phone-call ended at 20:29.
[Original posting 26 June 2011]